Public Service Announcement April 1, 2006
Posted by briney in Car Theft.2 comments
In all probability it wouldn’t be your best plan of action to arrive for your scheduled court date for auto theft driving a stolen Mercedes!
Not heeding that sage advice Thomas Minks was at a local crack house when he remembered he needed to appear in court on auto theft charges from stealing a vehicle back in January.
Minks elected to carjack a 2002 Mercedes-Benz S500 V in an effort to make his court appearance. Police tracked the stolen vehicle via its GPS system. Minks tried to evade the officers, nearly running two of them down before being subdued with a stun gun.
Shania You Didn’t ! April 1, 2006
Posted by briney in Stupid Drunks.1 comment so far
A drink driver escaped conviction in Canada because he believed Shania Twain was helping him to drive.
Matt Brownlee was arrested after police spotted a pickup truck speeding along a busy street in downtown Ottawa.
The 33-year-old told psychiatrists that he believed the country singer was helping him drive, reports CBC News.
A judge ruled Brownlee was not criminally responsible because he suffers from delusions that female celebrities communicate with him telepathically.
He could now be detained in hospital, released under supervision or given an absolute discharge.
A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to Detox March 30, 2006
Posted by briney in Trailer Park Trash, Vandalism.1 comment so far
I mean come on! If your moral compass is so out of whack you break into the local whinery shouldn’t it be a given a little illicit tasting might happen.
A West Deer winery was burglarized and vandalized Monday night by a man who had come from a drug and alcohol treatment center just down the road.
The 18-year-old suspect broke into La Casa Narcisi Winery on Gibsonia Road using a piece of lumber, broke several bottles of wine, and tampered with three of the 1,000-liter tanks where the wine was being stored, said West Deer Police Chief Jon Lape.
Damage was estimated at $20,000 — but will be more than $100,000 if the wine in the tanks is judged to have gone bad.
Jesse Derflinger of Beaver Falls was arrested soon after the break-in, and charged with burglary, theft, receiving stolen property, criminal mischief, disorderly conduct and public intoxication, said Chief Lape.
One would hope in judging any spoilage within the tanks a “urine sniff test” would conducted.
P.S. Would you be surprised to learn the reason this grape juice thief was in the area was because he was attending the Ridgeview Adolescent Behavioral Health Center? Citing medical privacy laws, Ridgeview spokeswoman Andrea Young could not reveal whether Mr. Derflinger was a client at the treatment center.
Yea, riiiight! He was just using the Behavioral Health Center, a half mile from the winery, to case the joint out. He doesn’t actually have any “behavioral” problems and would never be a client there!
Cross Posted @ Pickled Pundit
Wanna Bet They Both Lived in a Trailer Park March 25, 2006
Posted by briney in Trailer Park Trash.add a comment
A fight between two motel maids, armed with a plunger and a mop, ended with one in hospital and the other in jail.
The women accused each other of taking toilet rolls from each other’s cleaning carts at a motel in Charleston, South Carolina.
Police were called after the fight left one of the women, 52, with a welt requiring hospital treatment, reports the Post and Courier.
The other maid, Deloris Smith, 47, told police she was defending herself from a woman wielding a plunger.
She was charged with assault.
Robbers hold up cashless bank March 25, 2006
Posted by briney in Bank Robbers.2 comments
Two masked robbers tried to hold up a cashless credit union bank at gunpoint in California.
They burst into the ‘bank’ at Benicia with weapons drawn and shouted at employees to hand over the money, reports the San Francisco Chronicle.
“I would say that apparently they weren’t really prepared,” said Benicia police Capt. Steve Mortensen.
The robbers apparently had no idea they’d attempted to rob a credit union that immediately deposits its money, making it impossible for anyone to access it, he said.
“It’s a common theme among a lot of credit unions.”
Free Sex Sessions? March 25, 2006
Posted by briney in European Union, School Crime.1 comment so far
Schoolboys stole to fund red light trips.
A gang of Austrian schoolboys stole £18,000 worth of valuables to finance after school visits to prostitutes.The four boys, aged 14 to 15 and unnamed for legal reasons, took laptops, mobile phones and wallets from teachers and other children at their school in Graz.
They then took their loot to the local red light district and handed it over to prostitutes in return for free sex sessions.
According to a Graz police spokesman, the boys were caught after an investigation into increased local school crime.
Since when is payment of £18,000 classified as “free?”
A Ticket to “Ride” January 15, 2006
Posted by briney in Love Hurts.1 comment so far
A nurse and two cameramen were arrested at the Munich beer festival for filming a porn movie on the city’s famous big wheel.
The 21-year-old registered nurse, unnamed due to German privacy laws, and her two acquaintances were spotted ‘filming sexual acts’ by three Italian tourists in another carriage of the ride.
The Oktoberfest tourists alerted authorities, who detained the nurse and the filmmakers – a 25-year-old student and a 30-year-old teacher.
Munich police released a statement saying: “The trio were spotted in the carriage with filming equipment.
“The 21-year-old suddenly disrobed and produced a sex toy that she began to use while the other two filmed her.”
The three have been charged with public indecency.
Technorati Tags: Sex, Porn, Germany, Crime, Stupid Criminals
Smile, You’re on… January 15, 2006
Posted by briney in Mexico, School Crime.add a comment
MEXICO CITY (Reuters) – Vandals who broke into and wrecked a northern Mexican primary school over the Christmas holidays were thoughtful enough to leave the photocopied mug shot of one of their gang at the scene of the crime.
Mexican television showed a black-and-white print on Tuesday of the squashed, chubby face and hands of a young boy. The photocopy was made at the school in the northern city of Monterrey and left among smashed chairs and torn books.
Headmistress Maria del Rosario Gomez told Televisa news it was the third time the school had been vandalized, and said some of her own pupils were likely to blame.
Technorati Tags: Mexico, Vandalism, School Crime, Stupid Criminals
Polygamy on Steroids! January 15, 2006
Posted by briney in Love Hurts.1 comment so far
A Bosnian pensioner who claims to have been married 162 times has said he wants to marry at least another 100 women.
Nedeljko Ilincic, 75, from Milosevac in Bosnia and Herzegovina, said he first got married when he was 15 and since then it has been “just one wife after another”.
He said he now plans to see if his “feat” is worthy of a place in the Guinness Book of Records.
The former waiter, who has 14 children from different marriages, told local weekly Svet: “I first got married when I was only 15.
“I did it mainly because my parents wanted me to marry a woman named Joka, even though she was 20 years older than me, because her family was rich.
“I soon divorced her though because I didn’t like her and after that it was just one wife after another. I seemed to be getting either married or divorced all the time.
“The length of the marriages was always different, sometimes I’d spend a few years with my wife, other times it would just be a week. I must hold the record though.”
And the former waiter, who is currently single, said that at 75 he had not lost his appetite for marriage.
He said: “I’m still very popular with the ladies. At the moment there are two I could choose from, Janja and Dragica, who are both from Gradacac in Bosnia and Herzegovina, and I’ve heard one of my ex-wives Petra also wants me back.
“I may be getting on a bit, but I’m not ready to give up on love just yet. Another 100 marriages would probably calm me down.”
Technorati Tags: Polygamy, Bosnia, Marriage, Bigamy, Stupid Criminals
So What Will the Charge Be? January 15, 2006
Posted by briney in England.add a comment
Impersonating a canine?
Police are hunting two thieves after one stole a purse from an elderly woman while his accomplice pretended to be a dog.
Police in Stockton-on-Tees say it was one of the most unusual distraction burglaries they’ve ever encountered.
The two men barged into a house owned by a brother and sister in their nineties just after midday on Saturday, reports local ITV news.
One of the thieves then dropped to his knees and started to bark like a dog and crawl around on all fours.
Police say while the shocked 90-year-old woman and her brother, 93, looked on in disbelief, the second man grabbed the woman’s purse and the pair ran off.
Tagged: Crime, England, Robbers, Stupid Criminals
